4 Responses to “Why I Stopped Tickling My Daughter”

1. Hasna says:

   August 8, 2009 at 6:40 pm

   Suhail,
   I’m sorry but I’m going to have to disagree with all the things you said. If a child is going to be molested, they do not have a choice, they WILL BE molested. A child molester obviously knows how to get the child to do the things they want them to do, and the child’s “authority” has absolutely nothing to do with it. You can teach your child “stranger danger”, but there is no way to teach your child how to avoid being molested. You tickling your daughter has no relation to whether or not she will be able to stop someone from molesting her (God forbid). Your decision to quit tickling her is reasonable, but it does not apply to everyone, nor is it a deterrent to molestation.
   Take care.
2. Suhail Algosaibi says:

   August 9, 2009 at 8:23 am

   Might I suggest you read into this topic Hasna? Like I have – VERY intensely.
3. Hasna says:

   August 9, 2009 at 10:06 am

   Thanks for your suggestion but I do not need to read into the topic, as I have studied sex offenders as part of my degree. I do agree with the idea of teaching your child about the rights they have to their own body, and how to say no etc, but that won’t necessarily avoid the molestation. Child molesters, or “serious” child molesters, know what to say and what to do in order to find their “bait”. Might I suggest you take a look at “The Socially Skilled Child Molester” by Carla van Dam, in order to have a clear understanding of child molesters, and how very little a parent can do to avoid it.
4. Suhail Algosaibi says:

   August 9, 2009 at 1:33 pm

   Okay okay, here I am violating one of my own rules, which is “don’t justify yourself to anyone.” As a general rule I don’t reply to comments as it can get into a lot of back-and-forth, which I really don’t have time for. We could get into a who-read-more debate, but that would be childish…so with that in mind, here’s my final comment on this…
   First of all, thanks for your comments, and I know you’re coming from a good place. But I did not say that doing what I suggest will stop child molesters. What I said was it “reduces the chances” of being molested, as it gives the child a stronger sense of authority over their body. I agree that there are many child molesters who know exactly how to talk to, and bait children. And I agree that there are absolutely no guarantees that the things we teach our children will work. But I disagree with the remark there’s “very little a parent can do to avoid it.” This might lead some parents to think the situation is helpless, which might lead them to not even try to empower their children. In my view, child anti-molestation education (and in fact all self-defence education) is all about improving the odds in favour of the parents or kids, it’s not about guarantees. Hope this clarifies my point.